If I Were Running For Congress…

Due to lack of funding, name recognition and political experience I am forced to announce my official non-candidacy for the New York 1st district congressional seat. However, I would like to take a moment and reflect on the message I would have conveyed had I more D.C. connections, capital backing and/or political popularity. I believe I owe this to my town, my county and especially my imaginary following. If I were running for congress this would be my message and I believe what the people of Long Island would truly like to hear.
As a small business owner in Smithtown, I’ve had to say goodbye to far too many long-time customers as they have been forced out of Suffolk County. They have left New York and have tried to seek refuge for themselves and their families in lower taxed states such as the Carolinas and Florida. I have seen the costs of running my business go up and up as my clientele has had less and less money to spend. Raising taxes is not now and has never been the answer to fixing a troubled economy. The more money a family has in its pocket, the more likely it is to spend it. This is simply plain and common sense. This money will be spent at local restaurants, shops and boutiques, who will, in turn, hire more people who will naturally spend yet more money in their communities. This of course will generate more revenue for the state and country, via sales tax, than any amount of erroneous payroll, capital gains or income tax could hope to achieve. Increasing the tax burden on an ever-dwindling and economically suffering population could only exacerbate the problems of an already overly-governed population.
As a matter of fact, in this non-candidates opinion, the true answer to all our woes would be to eliminate federal and state income taxes altogether. This lack of revenue would be replaced with a higher, flat rated tax on all purchased goods. This would change our system overnight from the government run economy which it currently is, into the consumer based super-capitalism of which it was always intended to be. It would give the American people a chance to actually take home their hard-earned income with no strings attached. A chance to receive the actual fruits of their labor and not let the government eat the bread earned from the sweat of another man’s brow. It is basic human nature to spend more when you have more. The more you spend, the more someone else receives. The more they receive, the more they spend and so on and so on and so on. These are the pure and simple, black & white conservative tenants of American economic philosophy. There’s no need for grey. It’s just not necessary.
The American Constitution is the most brilliant political document ever created. It has enabled us to evolve into the greatest, most benevolent nation the world has ever known. The original intents of our founders should be closely reflected upon and strictly adhered to by anyone blessed enough to be popularly elected into its government. A congressman’s mission is clear. He is elected into office, by his peers, to represent their interests. To vote nay or yea on proposed legislation based purely on how it would impact his constituency. Often these votes will run parallel, for better or worse, with the interests of the state and the country as a whole. This however, will not always be the case and will test the true character of the man or woman whose constituency’s interests he or she has sworn to protect. This very loyalty to my neighbors and community would be my de facto fait accompli. I would wake up every morning asking myself what I could do to better improve the daily lives and general welfare of the people who hired me to do so.
This would be achieved by keeping our streets safe, our businesses flourishing and our community values strong. I would make every effort to help sustain and assist in elevating our impoverished and less fortunate citizens through a strong network of charity organizations and philanthropic private sector institutions. I would encourage and help promote a merit based system of promotion for our town, county, state and federal employees, guaranteeing that our tax dollars go to the improvement of our infrastructures rather than maintaining the status quo. I would promote the inherent strengths of American exceptionalism by freeing our private sector industries from the chains of regulations, creativity stifling laws and entrepreneurial discouraging taxes currently imposed on them by Albany and Washington. I would preach the gospel of our nation’s innate ingenuity in the fields of science, arts, technology and industry as opposed to the theory of the average Americans mediocrity currently being espoused by our President and his minions. I would explain that the people of this country are the source of its strength and not the children of its government needing coddling and direction.
I would vote for any and all legislation which would result in the strengthening of our military might while maintaining the appropriate balance of civilian rule. For it should be inherently clear to all rouge nations and terrorist networks that the consequences of attacking our nation and its interests, at home or abroad, would be to meet the full concentrated vengeance of the strongest, most intelligent war machine which the world has ever known. This is not only Americas right but its responsibility to the rest of the free world. I would also insist that all war criminals and enemy combatants be tried by military courts in a swift and effective manner and not be given the privileges of an American civilian court. When it comes to protecting our nation there should be no choice but to grab the figurative bull by the horns.
And that, in a nutshell, would be my message if I were running for congress which, of course, I’m not. However, I have a strong inclination that anyone with the wherewithal to convey a similar message this November will guarantee themselves a seat in New York’s 1st congressional district or, for that matter, any district in this great land.